It's always a good idea to brush up on skills and experiences before needed. With the holiday season just around the corner, it was a good thing that I attended a luncheon with 22 women I didn't know. I only knew the host. And I hosted a soiree for How To Work a Room's 21st Birthday. Being a good host means being prepared. Here are some thoughts that have been on my mind.
HOSTS:
BEFORE the guests arrive, the table is set for a sit-down. For the buffet noshing, the food is on the table. One friend invited me to several holiday dinners where the table wasn't set and the cooking was not started till guests began to arrive. Waiting three hours for a meal felt like a starvation diet in the making.
Be sure the house/apartment is dusted and cleaned. Sounds like a no brainer but...we all have stories.
The powder room doesn't need powder but it does need to be cleaned, have proper guest towels or towelettes, etc.
Plan your menu around guests. I had two gluetin allergics, one pregnant guest, one with GERD/acid reflux (she went no where near the salsa), one vegetarian and a number of non Champagne drinkers. So there were cut up, very colorful veggies to go with the dip -although I thought the ruffled chips were a better match. One additional thought: have more than just the right amount of food. It's better to have a little leftover.
Greet guests warmly. This is the place you can shine by making a guest feel so important.
Introduce guests to each other with the Kernels of common interests; spoken with great enthusiasm and respect. Two guests had been teachers in the school district at the same time, two guests were breast cancer survivors who had modeled at the fundraiser in different years and two guests were realtors in different counties.
Serve the meal within within one hour of the appointed time.
Talk with as many guests as possible while keeping an eye out for empty glasses, bowls and platters that need refilling. Share stories of how you met each with others and add in some of their recent news/accomplishments.
THANK them for coming to your bash. After all, they made the time to attend.
GUESTS:
RSVP. Period. End of story.
If something comes up that day and you can't make it, let the host know.
Show up on time.
For an open house type of soiree, arrive no later than 90 minutes of the time set. Stay at least an hour unless there are extenuating circumstances. For a meal event, no more than 15 minutes beyond the appointed hour.
Talk to every one. This I mean from the bottom of my heart. Even if you know a group of people from one place, don't just talk to them. Talk to all the other guests... please! Remember: The host invited you to do more than talk to the people you know...talk to the ones you don't know but who are also dear to the host. My friend, Diane, is a joy to watch. She talks to everyone at a party and makes them feel comfortable, engaged and interesting. What a gift!
Say goodbye to the guests with whom you may have had a great conversation.
Thank the host.
This next bit of advice comes from my mother: Clear your plate/glass. In fact, help clear the glasses, cups, plates, Giving myself a job helps me meet other guests more easily and I'm helping the host. That's what gracious guests do.
Super important: Good guests send notes of
appreciation to their hosts. For some that may be a call or an email. I
prefer to write notes. That's the "personal touch" we are
trying to reclaim. They are memorable, can be saved and reread. If the
host spent the time, energy, and money, surely we guests can take the seven minutes to acknowledge that effort.
And your gracious guest/host tips?